Let’s Stop Thinking About Confidence As Another Problem for Women to Solve

Once you start talking about women and their lack of representation at the highest levels of corporate America, it’s a quick conversational leap to talking about confidence. Women’s lack of confidence. The ubiquitous Imposter Syndrome. The oft-cited study that women won’t apply for a job unless they meet 90% of the criteria, while men will apply if they meet 40%. 

In fact, there’s an entire industry dedicated to improving confidence in women. There are books (I’ve read them). There are workshops (I’ve taken more than one). And there are professional networks, mentor programs, leadership courses, and more—mostly created in part to help women view themselves for the powerhouses they are. It’s a legitimate issue and one that’s undoubtedly holding women back. 

But before I dive into how we can remedy the confidence gap, I wanted to point out something that often gets ignored: This lack of confidence isn’t actually women’s fault. It’s the result of an educational and business culture that has devalued the contributions of women from the very beginning. And that it has resulted in an upper echelon of leadership that still includes so few women isn’t a surprise—it’s the natural consequence. 

Devaluing as the default  

Right out of college, I worked as an engineer at an innovative aircraft company. We were in the process of certifying our airplane when we ran into an issue: We needed to prove that if there was an engine fire, four specific bolts wouldn’t transfer heat into the cockpit. At first, it seemed like a simple problem—which is why the higher-ups handed it off to a junior engineer. But I quickly realized that I didn’t know how to solve it. When I posed my question to one of the top engineers, he looked at me condescendingly and said, “Didn’t you take heat transfer in college? It’s really very simple.” 

As it turned out, it wasn’t simple. There was no equation that existed for our use case and we ended up needing to develop an actual test. But I left that initial conversation feeling like an idiot, and as if I wasn’t smart enough for the job. As I progressed in my career, I encountered far more similar instances of questioning and condescending remarks than I care to recount. It took me a while to realize that intentionally or not, these comments devalued my work and empowered the people—always men—saying them. Such interactions can pile up on a person, and ultimately weigh them down, especially for women pursuing careers in STEM. 

For instance, in a recent study out of Villanova, researchers asked mid-level managers—men and women—to rate themselves on various computer tasks. The results showed no difference in performance, but a significant gap in perception. When asked to rate their performance, the women were far less confident in how they did. In another groundbreaking study out of BYU, research revealed that in mixed-gender groups at the accounting school, women were viewed as less authoritative and had less influence (even when they had higher GPAs and more experience than their peers). 

The criticism is often unwarranted, but the impacts on women and their careers are real. As I noted, women may not apply for higher-level positions because they don’t believe they’re qualified. They may not pursue specific careers out of the gate, for example, shifting away from STEM-focused careers. More broadly, the entire organization, business communities, and even customers miss out on the benefits of having more women in executive leadership roles. 

Reframing the confidence issue

In what seems like the height of irony, many of the women I’ve encountered who struggle with confidence then wrestle with feeling bad that they have confidence issues in the first place. I was talking with a CEOX nominee just last week who mentioned that she’d hired a coach, who has helped her realize the value she brings her company. These were important revelations, but in having them she also felt bad that it took her so long to get there. 

I had my own revelation as we talked—that turning the confidence issue into another problem for women to address only adds to women’s stress. So as we embark on a new year, I’m rethinking the issue of confidence, and hoping others will do the same. I think a key first step is understanding and remembering that a lack of confidence is taught; and for women, it’s largely driven by external factors and experiences. To put it bluntly, the stories we’ve heard and been told about ourselves are mostly fake news. 

As women leaders, we can remind ourselves of this often, and reframe our insecurities in the process. However, I think we can make even more progress by reminding others of their unique strengths and capabilities. In supporting each other, we can turn the volume up on a new story for women, and reinforce what’s true—that women are more than qualified, capable, and ready to lead.