Reverse Discrimination: Is that really a thing?

The other day my husband was relaying a conversation he had with a buddy (let's call him John because up until recently there were more men named John who were CEOs of Fortune 500 companies than there were women). John was complaining he had not been selected for a local city board role. He said he was told that they were looking for a woman or Person of Color because their board was very homogenous. He also claimed that the person in charge of the search said they felt bad for passing on him because he was definitely more qualified than the other candidates. John was incensed and claimed he was discriminated against because he was a man.

Is it Reverse Discrimination?

Was this an overt case of reverse discrimination? It was certainly how he thought of it. And, it may have been. But, when we start looking at the issue holistically, a different story unfolds about discrimination in the workforce. The data is clear: women are underrepresented in leadership positions, they face bias and discrimination, and they are paid less than men for doing the same job. Most likely, the hiring group knew the advantages of having diversity of thought and were ensuring their own success by actively looking for someone who was not a white man.

It is entirely valid to want to diversify a board, a group, or a workplace. Diverse groups have a lot of benefits, not the least of which is a better bottom line. In order to diversify, we have to look beyond traditional qualifications and assess for talent. The most qualified person is not always the most talented. In fact, the opposite is often true. Just because a man has all of the qualifications does not mean he has the talent. If he was born on third base, it could mean that he was given opportunities that were not available to women and People of Color even though he wasn't as talented. In our culture and society, men are often given the benefit of the doubt even when they have not proven themselves. Women, on the other hand, have to prove themselves first before being given opportunities, creating a Catch-22 that leaves them out of the C-Suite and the boardroom.  

Diverse Teams are Successful Teams

When assembling a successful team, we have to look at race, ethnicity, and gender. We should consider socioeconomic, education, age, and disability status as well. A diverse team is hands down more successful at problem-solving and creating profit for companies. We should absolutely consider "lived experience" as a qualifier for roles because that lived experience can bring new solutions to problems that have never been considered and that affect a larger market.

This was likely the first time John had ever been passed over for a role that he was qualified for. He was angry and felt that the system was rigged against him. I feel for him because every woman out there has experienced exactly that. It just happened that he was in his 50s before he got to experience it, but women get used to it in their 20s.

Start with Compassion, End with the Facts

Men continue to be in the most positions of power, so it is incredibly important they use this power to be allies, which is why I wanted to bring up this concern. As a man in a position of power who is listening to another complain about being passed over, use it as an opportunity to educate. You can start with compassion knowing that he may be experiencing a fear of losing relevancy, purpose, and status. But it’s crucial that you acknowledge the significant bias against women in the workplace. You can point out that despite that he is smart, driven and has worked very hard throughout his life, he was likely born on second or third base, giving him a significant advantage in his career. Because he is a man, he was often hired on potential over a woman who had to prove herself first. Finally, turn the conversation toward how diversity benefits men. When there are more women in leadership positions, studies have shown that workplaces are more collaborative and innovative. When companies are more innovative, everyone wins. We have many social constructs that are just as toxic to men as to women that diverse leadership can change. For example, the idea that men have to be "tough" and suppress emotions can lead to higher rates of suicide and mental health problems for men. Women-led companies are more likely to create corporate cultures that support flexibility and have happier male employees who are able to be more involved in the lives of their children. A more diverse workplace is not only better for business, but it's better for everyone. Yes, John missed out on this singular opportunity, but no doubt, many more opportunities will rise in its place. In the meantime, the societal and economic advances from the choice are well worth it and he can be on the leading edge of that positive change.